fourteen april
eight : nineteen

so much has been happening. or maybe i'm just pretending.

he keeps making me think that maybe she isn't as important as me; maybe i'm the one he really cares about; maybe i'm the soulmate - but nothing ever happens. too shy, too quiet, too afraid to affect the current stability of situations. "i've always been the nervous boy and i always will," he says.

tomorrow: easter. we will travel forty minutes to my aunts house and she will scrutinize us. her critital eye will give us the once-over and her harsh words will make us curl up on the couch and sleep just to avoid her. that is the only positive thing about easter: she has a wonderful couch for napping on. right by the old cast iron wood-burning stove.

tomorrow: he comes home. he'll breathe a sigh of relief and i'll breathe a sigh of love and things will be the way they were: stagnant.