31.JAN.2012
4:21P

on a morning when i cannot keep my shit together, when i cannot stop the internal downward spiral, i write to him about you.

"wish you were here. missing my friend and mentor. i think i've irreparably fucked things up. i'm sorry. i'm sorry to bother you."

and of course he knows exactly what to say. so i catch you in the parking lot, it's unseasonably warm, april in january, we're standing in the sunshine.

"haven't been sleeping well."

"why not?"

"that's a ridiculous question," i say. you know. you tilt your head to the side, raise your eyebrows. there are several seconds of awkward silence where i debate whether or not i should bring it up. again. we drag on our cigarettes. heart racing, i notice the way your shoes are laced. you pick at the loose stitching on your jacket, kick a piece of gravel. "because of you."

and we'll be fine.

you still have the ability to turn bad days around.