02.MAY.2015
3:02A

"i'm walking toward the train."
"you're going the wrong way."
"i know. i'll catch a cab."

we stumble toward each other in the middle of my street. it's 2:30 in the morning. it always is. you tell me about the new record, the next tour, the move to new york.

i hadn't planned on ever letting you see me cry.

“this is one of those ‘blessing in disguise’ things, isn’t it. for me, at least.”
“what are you talking about?"
“nothing.”
“no one’s ever talking about anything. not a single person.”

your voice all alcohol and allergies, choking back tears.
i hadn't planned on ever letting you see me cry.
i hadn't planned on ever letting you see me cry.

"i have my backpack on and i'm about to go out the door and it's sort of just like, hey, someone..someone help me. you know? just somebody fucking save me. anyone."
"that's what i'm here for."
"you know. i don't have to vibe at all right now. like, you know, it's just sort of like, ok, i'm done with friday night and everyone's gonna do their thing but..somebody get me out of here. please. cause like, i spent two months working on getting a place in new york and getting all this shit together, perfect timing, all this shit between us going on tour and us recording demos and having to go through crazy shit. no one knows at all. and i wouldn't explain my stress to you because it would just be like - you'll never get it. and that's cool, because like, i don't need you to get it, you know? but it's on the level of..ok, i did all this work and we have amazing songs and i'm about to go on tour in a week and just..
i'm trying to fade away into this darkness.
and i don't want to bring anyone into that at all."