six december
nine : fifty-four p.m.

it worries me when he gets like this.

i don't want him to start asking questions. i never know how to answer them.

"i've been fucking a lot of things up, and it hasn't hit me yet. i still just want to go to sleep or destract myself, or think of excuses, or be frustrated about it, or set deadlines, but it really hasn't hit me, and i don't know why. it's getting late, and pretty soon, i'll start to get tired, and i'll forget things, and i wont be able to focus well. thats really going to fuck things up, and i can remind myself of this as much as i want. and..i don't understand it."

please help. please tell me what to do. how to fix it. how to make it stop happening. please.