four july
nine : fifty-six

happy fourth.

he left at 6:30 this morning. last night, we talked and cried and pretended that we weren't going to miss each other. that things were going to be okay.

and they were, for a little while. and they weren't, for a little while.

and now, something very calming has washed over me. i can relax, and breathe, and think about other things. i know it won't last.

i remember a dream i had just before i woke up. we were at karin's wedding, which was taking place at a train station. everyone was waiting for her to come out of the church. i was playing on the tracks, trying to find the perfect angle for the perfect photograph of the perfect sunset. nobody else noticed it. nobody else cared. there was so much beauty, and they just wanted to throw rice.